As a parent, you know that getting divorced means you have to think about more than just yourself and your spouse. You also need to think about the impact on your children, as it is going to be a substantial change in their lives.
The initial conversation that you have with your children about the upcoming divorce can really frame how they take the news and react to these changes. Here are some tips that you may want to keep in mind.
Avoid placing blame
It can be very stressful and emotionally difficult for children if they feel like they are being placed in the middle, where they have to choose whose side they are on. Ultimately, both parents should try to avoid placing blame on the other. Instead, they should try to frame it as a mutual decision, as both parents will likely still be involved in the children’s lives after the divorce.
Answer their questions
Additionally, although you will likely start the conversation by informing the children about the divorce, remember that they also need to have a voice in this conversation. They may have a significant number of questions about what it means for them, why it is happening and how it will affect their lives. Give them the time they need to talk.
Talk to everyone at once
For parents who have multiple children, it is important to have a family meeting where both parents talk to all of the children at the same time. As parents, this helps you present a united front. For the children, it means that they find out directly from you and not from a sibling or through the grapevine.
Moving forward with a divorce
Conversations with children often happen at the early stages of the divorce process. There are many more legal steps that will need to be taken, and it is crucial that you know exactly what options you have.
